The Dog Owner And The Imam
A dog died, and the owner took it to the Imam. He asked the Imam if he could organize a funeral service for the dead animal.
Imam: No, we can’t hold a service for your dog in our Mosque but there is a Mosque down the street, maybe they will do it for you.
Man: But Imam will that Mosque accept a donation of $1million?
The Imam shouted “Subhanala”, Why didn’t you tell me the dog was a Muslim?
The Three Prisoners
Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they’re all sentenced to 20 years in solitary confinement. They’re each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for 1,000 cartons of cigarettes. At the end of the 20 years, they open the first guy’s cell. He comes out and says, “I studied so hard. I’m so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific.” They open the second guy’s door. He comes out with his wife, and they’ve got five new kids. He says. “It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it.” They open the third guy’s door, and he’s slapping at his pockets, going “Anybody got a match?”
The Famous Inspirational Speaker
A famous inspirational speaker said: “Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”; Shocked, the audience sat silently, shocked and benumbed by what they’d heard. He then added: “She was my mother.” This kind of silence fills an extra beat before thunderous applause erupts, a big round of applause and laughter roared in the hall. A very daring husband tried to crack this at home. After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen; “Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife” (electric shock and stunned amazement). Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker, by the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of hot water!
The Two Christian Brothers
Tenth day of Ramadan two Christian brothers, Adam and Jack lost in the Sahara Desert. They were terribly dying of hunger and thirst, when they suddenly came upon an oasis with what looked like a minaret with a Mosque in the middle. Adam Said to Andrew “Let’s pretend as if we are Muslims otherwise we will not get food or drink”. “I am going to call myself Muhammad Sarr”. Andrew refused to change his name.” My name is Andrew and I will not pretend to be what I am not”. When they got there, the Imam Ratib, Jalali Walli, instruct the helpers of the Mosque and said “please bring food and water for Andrew only, since he is non-Muslim and did not fast. Then Imam turned to Adam, said, “Salaam Muhammed Sarr, we have six hours before Iftaar, Ramadan Mubarak”! Adam Muhammad Sarr fainted on the spot.
The Elderly Man And The Doctor
There was an elderly man visiting a doctor for his check-up. As he was leaving he asked the doctor if he could recommend a specialist for his wife. “What’s wrong with her?” asked the doctor. The old man explained that her hearing was getting so bad that it was almost embarrassing. The doctor said he knew of several specialists that could help but he wanted the old man to do a little test when he got home to help the doctor determine the severity of her hearing loss. The doctor said “When you get home, make sure your wife’s back is turned to you and ask her a question. If she doesn’t respond walk closer and ask her again. Keep doing this until she answers and let me know the results”.
That night when the old man opened the door of his home he could see his wife in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was at the counter with her back to the door. “What’s for dinner?” the old man asked. His wife did not respond so he walks to the doorway of the kitchen and asked the question again. Still, he was greeted with silence. This time he walks up just behind her and asks once again “What’s for dinner?” His wife spins around a bit agitated and says, “For the third time, ‘Yassa Nganarr”!!”
Oustazz Kabirou And The Taxi Man
Oustazz Kabirou stopped a taxi, entered and said; “Please turn off the radio for in the time of the prophet, there was no radio and my religion decreed I should not listen to music especially reggae and mbalax music because, they sing of their infidelity, you play me Landing Kintiba’s songs or Umm Kulhum Arabic classics”.
The taxi man, boy bandit, turned off the radio, came down and opened the door for Oustazz Kabirou and said;
“In the time of the prophet, there was no car. So please come down and wait for a camel”,boy bandit, quipped.
By Alagi Yorro Jallow