Two shopkeepers were bitter rivals. Their stores were directly across the street from each other, and they would spend each day keeping track of each other’s business. If one got a customer, he would smile in triumph at his rival.
One night an angel appeared to one of the shopkeepers in a dream and said, “I will give you anything you ask, but whatever you receive, your competitor will receive twice as much. Would you be rich? You can be very rich, but he will be twice as wealthy. Do you wish to live a long and healthy life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. What is your desire?” The man frowned, thought for a moment, and then said, “Here is my request: Strike me blind in one eye!”
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
One Salifu Tamba, a Jola man walked into a restaurant in Tallinding Kunjang. As soon as he entered, he noticed a Fula man, Pateh Baldeh, sitting in the corner eating bowl of cow foot soup.
So, he walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, “Waiter! I am buying food for everyone in this restaurant, except that Fula man over there!” So, the waiter collected the money from Salifu and began serving free food to everyone in the restaurant, except Pateh. However, instead of becoming upset, Pateh simply looked up at Salifu and shouted, “Thank you! “That infuriated Salifu.
So once again, Salifu, took out his wallet and shouted, “Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this restaurant, except for that Fula man (Pateh) sitting in the corner over there!
“So, the waiter collected the money from the Jola man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the Fula man. When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, once again, instead of becoming angry, the Fula man simply smiled at the Jola man and shouted, “Thank you! “That made Salifu furious. So, he leaned over on the counter and said to the waiter, “What is wrong with that Fula man? I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this restaurant except for him, but instead of becoming angry, he just sits there and smiles at me and shouts ‘Thank you.’ Is he crazy?” The waiter smiled at Salifu and said, “No, he is not crazy. He is the OWNER of this restaurant.
Have a wonderful Iftaar!
Sainey and Sana walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing them. They run as fast as they can and Sainey starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Salili Muhammad; Wallali Muhammad Jifijaffa; please Ya Allah turn this lion into a lame cat.”
Sainey looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As Sainey comes closer to the lion, he hears the it is saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive”
Fafanding is getting into the shower just as Nafissatou his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. Nafissatou quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Malang, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Malang says, “I’ll give you 2000 dalasi to drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, Nafissatou drops her towel and stands naked in front of Malang.
After a few seconds, Malang hands her 2000 dalasi and leaves.
Nafissatou wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, Fafanding asks, “Who was that?” “It was Malang the next-door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” Fafanding says, “did he say anything about the 2000 dalasi he owes me?”
In class one day, Mr. Dibba pulled Mamadi over to his desk after a test, and said, “Mamadi I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.” Mamadi was astounded and asked Mr. Dibba to prove it. “Well, said Mr. Dibba, I was looking over your test and the question was, ‘Who was our first president?’, and the little girl that sits next to you, Fatoumatta, put ‘Sir Dawda Kairaba Jawara,’ and so did you.”
“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”
“Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Dibba. “The next question was, ‘Who overthrew the Sir Dawda Kairaba Jawara?’ Fatoumatta put Yahya Jammeh and so did you.”
“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Mamadi.
“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Dibba. The next question was, ‘Who was leader of the Opposition during the First Republic?’ Fatoumatta put ‘I don’t know,’ and you put, ‘Me neither’.”
Written by Alagi Yorro Jallow