Lady Dove says...
THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVE AFTER THEM

Lady Dove Says

Sections

Links

Gam Sports

Bookmark and Share

Duganafi Gaenana Falaeh: Come on, now!

Jammeh4In this edition of Duganafi Gaenana Falaeh, Mr Peters talks drug issues with President Jammeh, mourns a slain journalist, dilates on President Jammeh’s ‘dictator’ tag, of England and the World Cup, corrects an ex-US president, reflects on Father’s Day, overprotective seagulls and…Face Book.
Come on, now!Jammeh4
The running joke is our president is a drug dealer. A dark humoured gag that, but it sure fell flat two weeks ago when two tonnes of cocaine, with a street value of a billion Dollars, was seized in The Gambia. I may not agree with the man’s policies but I know better than sit here and call him Escobar.
However, is it me or in addressing 1, 400 army recruits, Jammeh warned that ‘if you want to deal in drugs, the uniform is not for you…if you know that you are a drug dealer, be it my uncle or my mother, the best thing is for you to leave the country or else I will deal with you very well,’ that he came across rather, er, hollow?
I’m all for the war on drugs but if that speech was meant to ignite it, it never really took off.
Mr President, I don’t like the ‘Colombia’ tag dogging our nation and I would appreciate it, and so would all Gambians, if we swiftly get to the bottom of those infamous two tonnes of cocaine which, eye brow raisingly, you made no mention of in your speech.
NewspapersDeydaNo justice…
My heart goes out to the family of Rwandan journalist, Jean Leonard Rugambage who was gunned down. Witnesses say the acting editor of Umuvugiz paper was fired upon by two men who fled in a get away car.
The paper’s editor, Jean Bosco Gasasira, who had fled to Uganda after the paper was suspended, blamed the government for the assassination of his fellow colleague-in-ink.
‘I’m 100% sure it was the office of the national security services which shot him dead,’ he told Voice of America. Meanwhile, police stated that they have no idea who was behind the shooting.
Gambians and fellow sons of ink could see a Deyda Hydara-esque scenario unravelling here.
It’s been nearly six years on and still Deyda’s killers roam free. With Rwandan police playing the ain’t-got-a-clue game, it hurts to say the two guys who riddled Rugambage with bullets will, like Deyda’s killers, roam free.
It is a crazy world, I tell you.
Unwanted list…dictator_jammeh
Foreign Policy magazine recently published its list of despots and our own president slotted in sixteenth place. The report states that there are 40 dictators world wide with exactly 1.9 billion people are being rule with an iron fist by 23 of these lots. North Korean leader, Kim Jongil heads the lists with Zimbabwe throttler, Robert Mugabe, in second place and simultaneously heading the African contingent.
Despite the grimness and poignancy of the report, it still squeezed in wry humour when discussing President Jammeh.
‘A narcissist at heart, the dictator insists on being addressed as His Excellency Sheikh Professor Alhaji Dr. Yahya Abdul-Azziz Jemus Junkung Jammeh. Jammeh also claims he has mystic powers and will turn Gambia into an oil-producing country; no luck yet.”
It went on to describe President Yahya Jammeh as an “eccentric military buffoon” who has vowed to rule for 40 years and claims to have discovered the cure for HIV/AIDS.
Three things.
I never remember him saying he will rule for 40 years. Maybe he did but I couldn’t recall.
That oil talk has been rolling on for a while and we are yet to see an oil rig in operation or something.
As for the HIV/AIDS cure hog wash, that doesn’t wash with me. He has to come better than herbs and what have you to convince me the world’s deadliest disease can be wiped off like that.
Till then, gullible Gambians, don’t ‘flesh-on-flesh’ yet…
England_national_teamA nation stood still…
Wednesday 23rd June, 3pm was the day England stood still and its inhabitants collectively held their breath for an hour and half. Okay, I made that last bit up but I’m serious when I say offices were deserted, school wrapped up half an hour early and there was no soul on the streets.
Except me and it was because I was getting home.
Why this tension, you may ask. Did residents of this island nation opt to migrate on this scorching June afternoon to, say, New Zealand?
No, it was because the Three Lions were playing a do-or-die, as the media put it, game against Slovenia, where only a win would guarantee further interest in the World Cup.
When they played Algeria last weekend, I noticed I got home quicker but didn’t put much thought into it.
But on Wednesday, I got home in record time as: a) there wasn’t a soul at most bus stops and b) surprise, surprise, there was no rush hour. Londoners can attest that there is a rush hour every day of the week in the Smoke, save Sundays.
But not this Wednesday.
I followed the game at a cafe till Defoe scored and I left, hoping they cling on. Terry and co did clung on but a USA win over Algeria meant England will play Germany, the old enemy, on Sunday afternoon, which is utter bad timing for my reverend. He celebrates 25 years of priesthood and has invited us, the congregation, all for tea and cakes at 5.30 and a short service to follow. Well, England will stand still at 3.00 on Sunday and, should extra time be ushered in and depending on the result, he will be the only one present at his own do.
A word to William Jefferson ClintonBill_Clinton
Don’t you find it iggly-niggly irritating and also admirable how them lot across The Pond want to be different? Yes, this little island was their colonial masters a while ago but, somewhere down the line, they’ve, out of the English language, birthed American English?
Lift is elevator, football is soccer, cookie is biscuit, condom is rubber, trousers is pants, trainers is sneakers, cheque is spelt check, we say roughly, they say give or take and so on and so forth.
I only bring this up because ex-president Bill Clinton, who was watching the USA-Algeria match, where his countryman Donovan scored a 92nd minute winner, had this to say: ‘when that sucker went in, I said, ‘thank God for over time.’’
Er, Bill, I like you but I like your daughter more because of her name but it is called injury time, not over time, sir. Or added time, if you want to be distinct.
Let’s not Americanize that bit, please.  
femi_peter2Father’s Day…
I have always taken Fathers Day and Mother’s Day for granted, I’m ashamed to say. I’m grateful to have both parents around but I’m not so, so grateful, if you get my drift. Say I have a ticket for a Chelsea game on Mothers Day, no prizes for guessing where I will be that afternoon. Mothers Day is a must I have to stay with my mum all day. Father’s Day is a call to my dad and we would talk till the operator warned: ‘you have thirty seconds remaining for this call.’
It took my dad’s imprisonment to give me a rude awakening that I never really was grateful for this day. I didn’t have to make no call and then it messed me up for a bit. I got a grip and realized I was just being selfish. Some less fortunate than me don’t have to do nothing on either Fathers or Mothers Day as their parents have long checked out. For instance, at my age, my dad’s parents were no more. And here was I, getting all in a spin as my dad is in jail. I may not have made a call this year but, God willing next year, I will do so.
So, if like me, you take these days dedicated to parents for granted, floor it. Don’t wait for a rude jolt to realize we had something in common…
Simply ‘yabateh’!flock_seagulls
The UK has given so much freedom to birds and animals they are, to paraphrase the Brits, taking the mick.
A cat has never walked past me till I came to the UK, a squirrel has never scampered past me till I came to the UK and a dog has never tried to share my dinner till I came to the UK. I even had a few pigeons walked right up to me, under my legs, pick up a morsel of food and toed off like we are good friends.
Now I read that postmen couldn’t deliver mail on a street in Cornwall as they are getting attacked by seagulls in a bid to protect their nest. The ‘situation’ has gotten so bad residents only go out when they really have to. Even then, they have to have umbrellas to avoid getting pecked.
The Gambian in me was baffled. Seagulls on the rampage and no solution to it? You are yanking my chain, right? I got a solution: maybe them Brits could borrow a leaf from us Gambians on how we put them pesky lot in their place and this ‘problem’ would never surface again.
facebook-logoThank God for FaceBook!
This week, social networking site, Face Book, reached its billionth user. That, roughly, is its billionth user linking up with friends whom they’ve lost touch with and making new ones.
Since I created a profile on the popular site two years ago, I have met people whom I’ve given up on. I was like, ‘see you on judgement day!’
Friends from school, friends of my dad (one who told me things about me I thought I only knew!) and made new ones.
Eerie or unique but I made a new friend who has the same name and surname as me and a Chelsea fan like me. He lives in Lagos and he’s part of the family now, calling me on my birthday, my mum’s birthday and sending me a Yoruba outfit.
When the time is right, I will surely touch down at Murtala Muhammed International Airport on his behalf.
I also met a newly published author who gave me lots of tips about the publishing world.
I have been discussing novels with an Australian lady as we are both huge Lee Child fans.
If you are yet to be a member of Face Book, do so now.
There is everything you need on there. There is even a page called Stop Discriminating Against Gambians.
Create a profile, add all the pages that tickle your fancy, make new friends and hook up with those you’ve lost touch with.
You never know.

Comments  

 
0 #14 2010-06-30 17:24
Kay Sera Sera..whatever?

Nice choice of words?

A kick in the groin would have been better, my dear? Not the type of wolof I'm used to?

Mike
Quote
 
 
0 #13 2010-06-30 12:40
They would if the game is this Saturday as morale is snake belly low at the moment, Sera. For all their inept attitude, England havent lost to an African side so i would go for a draw if they played later in the year :)
Quote
 
 
0 #12 2010-06-29 16:10
I am sure our Gambian scorpions can crush England....they are shit....
Quote
 
 
0 #11 2010-06-29 10:31
You gave me a good guffaw this morning, Brown Stone. Just what i needed to kick off the day. No diss but you could do worse than do stand up :D.
Them gulls could simply migrate to France than attack poor peeps, don't you think :D.
As of the people being stiff, maybe it is only Scales feeling that way today :D. On the real, the whole nation is still dazed from Sunday's roasting. Just saw my neighbor pulled down his st. George flag and i almost told him to leave it there for the euro 2012 qualifiers but i dont want him going all seagully on me :D.
Quote
 
 
0 #10 2010-06-29 10:25
Thanks a lot, Kafuta. So, now we have like 24 more of Jammeh-ness to go :)When one makes such remarks, it is hard not to rule out doctoring of results..
Quote
 
 
0 #9 2010-06-29 09:56
I'm feeling pretty stiff this morning?
Quote
 
 
0 #8 Kafuta 2010-06-29 09:37
Femi Peters, I figured you might be interested in this portion of a report on the New York Times. It answer a portion on you article in the latest edition of your column, Unwanted list…
World Briefing | Africa: Gambia: Leader Vows To Rule For Next 40 Years
On the final day of campaigning, President Yahya Jammeh vowed to rule for the next 40 years. Mr. Jammeh, who seized power in 1994 as a 29-year-old army lieutenant and went on to win elections in 1996 and 2001, told supporters that he ruled through God and that ''no coup d'état or elections can remove me.'' He faces two challengers but warned at the rally in Serekunda, east of the capital, Banju, ''I will develop the areas that vote for me, but if you don't vote for me, don't expect anything.''
Or you might want to check it yourself, here is the link:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B00EEDF1E31F931A1575AC0A9609C8B63&ref=yahya_jammeh
Quote
 
 
0 #7 2010-06-29 09:35
The English are not natural footballers. They are stiff. Football requires you to be relaxed and flexible. Even the way they speak the English language is stiff, no wonder the Americans devised their own. Can you really blame them? As for those seagulls, I'm sure they are acting out because they just cannot take the stiffness anymore.
Quote
 
 
0 #6 2010-06-28 13:15
at you for football hottest managerial seat. The job is ten times the headache so ask for more dough. Make me your PR whilst you are at it.Football pundits are of the mind set that the set up should be the utd formatiuon as it suits Rooney more. The old method is tagged ancient and all the managers are trying to keep up with the modern version of the game. I think playing for your club in the modern verison and then switch up ( or down) for the ancient for England might be too much. We just pray we win the 2018 bid. Thats all there is to hope for..for now..
Quote
 
 
0 #5 2010-06-28 12:37
Femi...English football is best served by our tradition. For 30 years we have been wooed by fashion...first we tried to play like the Italians..and failed.
Then we tried the German method and failed.

We should just go back to two wingers and three in midfield.

As kids this is how we were taught.

Then the talented meet these coaches and
we are taught to do things differently.

So many different systems...by so many different coaches...and the result is chaos on the field.

Seriously...any team from our lower divisions would have performed better.

The Algerians and the Mexicans were a good example of this. Individually quite poor..but as a team they play the same way. I thought both were outstanding..but unlucky.

Mike Scales For England coach..?

I'll take £100 pounds a week plus expenses.

Quote
 

Add comment

Dear reader,
Opinions expressed here are those of the writers and do not reflect those of Jollof News.
Jollof News accepts no legal responsibility or otherwise for their accuracy of content. This forum is not supposed to be a channel for the promotion of hate, tribalism or any other kind of personal grievances.
We therefore urge you to keep your posts relevant to the topic to ensure keeping the forum conducive for a healthy debate.
Jollof News reserve the right to delete or edit a post that violates these guidelines.
Thank you.


Security code
Refresh