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Duganafi Gaenana Falaeh: Grrr!
Monday, 21 June 2010 00:58
In this edition of Duganafi Gaenana Falaeh, Mr Peters defends the vuvuzela, touches on the World Cup, England’s stuttering World Cup campaign,
talks about his love for the Wollof and…Islam. Grrr!
I have not been religiously following the World Cup on telly but I have been reading about it daily. I’m yet to watch a full game but I’m not that
bothered, anyway. What I’m bothered about is politically correct oafs whinging about the vuvuzela. If, like me, you don’t care about the World Cup and, unlike me, don’t even read about it, the vuvuzela is an instrument like trumpet that sounds like a thousand mosquitoes and wasps disagreeing. They moan that it is too loud, they can’t hear themselves think and even Patrice Evra had this to say: ‘at night, we can’t sleep and on the pitch we can’t hear ourselves talk.’Well, Pat, if Henry had kept his hand to himself, you would have had the summer off, not so? So zip it! You French lot back doored the tournament so don’t open your gob about anything. D’accord?
Now, we even had the medical downside of it. A London doctor is warning that the vuvuzela could also spread colds and flu germs. Dr Ruth McNerney, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, told The Associated Press that the instrument has the potential to infect those seated near a person blowing a vuvuzela because a "lot of breath goes through" it.
She said a recent study found that aerosols, tiny droplets which can carry flu and cold germs, were formed at the bottom of a vuvuzela after people had blown into them.
Those particles are small enough to stay suspended in the air for hours, and can enter into the airways of a person's lungs, Dr McNerney said.
I take that research with a boulder of salt and more. Remember the vuvuzela is shaped like a trumpet but no one has done a research about a trumpet spreading cold, flu or whatever.
What really irks me is the Western media have been bracing themselves for the tournament to be a disaster from the onset. I remember The Sun publishing a story about the current England base in its unfinished state and had one of the workers quoted as saying there is no way it would be completed in a year let alone in two months.
This was back in March.
Well, we are now in June and the Three Lions are happily ensconced in a completed base.
Next was that the stadiums won’t meet the required standards. I have a magazine of all the nine stadiums and, from what I saw, they are top notch edifices.
Next were the empty seats and, for good measure, the vuvuzelas. Listen, you dolts, the World Cup is held in South Africa, last time I checked. Thus, the Rainbow Nation is going to offer everything South African and the vuvuzela happens to be as South African as, say, Bantu Steve Beko. So, here are a few suggestions for you flea-brained lot.
If you are at the game, invest in ear plugs. 2. If you are watching at home, check your telly remote closely. A button says ‘mute’ and the other says ‘off.’ 3. If all fails, do us all a favour and step off a cliff.
Kudos to FIFA for seeing sense and not banning the instrument. For once, I’m beginning to like Sepp Splatter. Sorry, Blatter.
Not in the script...
The World Cup is a week old as you read this and it has thrown up enough shocks already.
I bet there’s more to come.
England were supposed to get one over the US after the Boston tea party went wrong all those years ago but had to settle for a share of the spoils thanks to a keeper in a Santa Claus-esque mood. Brazil were meant to spell North Korea with goals but had to settle for a 2-1 win. Greece scored their first goals ever in a World Cup finals, registering their first win in the process and it meant Nigeria will be heading home after their next game.
Top tournament favourites Spain were meant to Swiss cheese the Swiss. Rather, they got, er, Swiss cheesed up themselves in the biggest shock of the tournament. France, who had to reply on the Hand of Henry to get to South Africa, are on déjà vu ala Japan and South Korea all over again. After two games, they are a point to the good and no goals scored. Maradona’s Argentina have made the next round with a game to spare. Ghana, Africa’s sole hopes, are a win away from the next round themselves. Germany have done a very un-German deed: miss a penalty as they lose by a goal to Serbia, blowing that group wide open. Cameroon with a 60 year old white-dread locked in the defence were off song, no pun intended. They bafflingly lost to Japan. Slovenia are four points to the good after two games.
If you fancy a flutter, bet on them and Ghana for the semis.
Three Lions? Three kittens, more like.
EASY, screamed The Sun headline when the World Cup draw was made in December and England were grouped with the USA, Slovenia and Algeria. The EASY was an acronym for England, Algeria, Slovenia and Yanks. It sure looked easy at the time. England were meant to score nine goals, concede none and get nine points. On paper, England’s B team would have gotten the job done after two games and would have used the last game as a training session. Unfortunately, football is done on the pitch. After two games, who would have thought Slovenia would be table toppers with England yet to win a game? I watched the highlights of the England-Algeria game and came to a blunt conclusion. England are like that stunning, long haired, long legged woman. But she is barren, can’t cook or clean and has a rancid, irremovable breath. In short, she has everything but nothing going for her. Hard to believe this was the same team that breezed through the qualifiers netting thirty four goals on the way. Is it me or is Steve McLaren still in charge? At this stage, I would take a Slovenia win on Wednesday if it means the World Cup in 2018 comes to these shores.
I just love the Wollofs!
Let’s admit it, we have all wished for crazy stuff as kids and even as adults. How we wish we were taller, cuter, richer and even happier.
Well, I sometimes wish I was a Wollof lad called Sheikh Omar Njie. God, I love the Wollofs. I love everything about them, from the royal aura about them and the myth with lions not to mention benechin, everybody’s favourite dish. Okay, I lied. I can’t stand incense (churai) and I for sure can’t stand griots. The Aku in me is too stingy to give out money to someone singing my praises. I could do that free myself. Other than that, what is there not to like about the Wollofs? Yes, I grew up among Fulas and still believe they have the most beautiful women (I know. I’ve dated a couple) but still, them Njies top the lot for me.
Apologies to the other tribes. Hang on, I take that back. I love the Wollofs and not apologetic or ashamed about it. Before you get it twisted, remember who made it possible for the main dish at your child’s christening or your sister’s wedding.
Stunned!
I was conversing with Abdullah, an Islamic scholar of Asian origin the other day and he told me there are a billion Muslims worldwide. Moreover, he told me ten million Muslims know the Holy Koran word for word, chapter for chapter, front to front or, in this case, back to front.
That blew me away.
Word for word in all 33 chapters? Ten million people? Gosh!
To further bolt home his point, he dared me to find two Christians who have mastered the Holy Bible. That was a no brainer. I mean, Sana Sabally knows the Bible better than me and, for the life of me, I don’t think the reverend at my church knows every word in the Bible, front to back, so I will spare him the blushes to reconfirm that.
I can say this though. I don’t know how many religions are there in the universe but none comes close to Islam in terms of dedication and total submission.
I stand to be corrected.
For criticisms or suggestions, please email me at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
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Comments
The French...retreated and The Italian's have surrendered just in case.
Whoaahhhh.
Yeah, this German side is youthful but will England exploit that and punish them for it? All German sides are the side: rough, rugged and very dogged. We havent seen that in this side yet but we have seen the unattractive football they play, which is synonymous with all German sides. Yeah, my money is on England. Im banking on a Gerro pile driver in the second half to clinch it. :)
But this young German side..could emerge as one of the great sides for the next 5 years.
Will the English "mature" professionals tame the youngsters...and break their hearts?
It may come down to a mistake...where one man's nerves...decides the outcome.
I still fancy England for this one?
Good luck to all...
I would hate to be David James in this game...he should be getting "danger" money.
Fascinating !!!!
Mike.
Suddenly, im so interested in the WC and i cant wait for tomorrow. Hope there is English interest come Monday morning and Dutch interest by Monday evening.
In my humble opinion...Jermaine has been Englands best striker for several years.
Sharp ,Quick..and two good feet.
Commeth the hour commeth the striker?
England..will win by a penalty.
The law of averages...always balances in the end.
Its our turn for the "lucky"roll of the dice.
England expects everyman to do his duty.
I don't think I can stand to watch.
Wheres me valium?
Mike
As for the Ivorians,i think they learnt that 'trick' from their opponents. Remember Rivaldo in 2002 clutching his face and going down faster than a sack of spuds when the ball hit his shin? Thats what i call karma.
Im really looking forward to Sunday. 3pm. Its church and back home b4 the telly. It is the business end of the WC and it is time to pick up interest.
What's your predictions?
This World cup is decending into farce, and national disgrace.
All that left is for Germany to invade France...and England to declare
"peace in our time"
How do you say to Fabio Cappello in Italian....."Yer sacked mate" ?
The Ivory Coast...are cry babies...Kaka's Facial expression said it all. Not guilty M'lud..." I was just standng their like a lamp post and this headless chicken..ran into me. "
and I thought African's were warriors?
Mike.
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